Dating Advice for Women – Eight Key Rules

Dating advice for women has changed drastically in the last decade. Women used to bend over backward to please a potential suitor; then they would lose them as time wore on. "I never seem to get past the first few months. What am I doing wrong?" Sound familiar? It may be that your intentions are good, but you're trying too hard. I've put together some sound dating advice for women in order to avoid this and make things go more smoothly.

Talk to Avoid

Don't talk about your last boyfriend, fiancé or husband on the first few dates. Men immediately think one of two things if you talk about your ex during a date. Either you're still hung up on him, or you're bitter and angry about being dumped. A guy doesn't like either of these options, and he'll take a pass on someone with that kind of emotional baggage.

Be Yourself

For a single woman, dating advice should probably be more complex than that, but really it all boils down to those two words: "Be yourself." Don't pull out all the stops being a sex kitten siren if that's not you. Forget playing the girl next door to catch his interest if you aren't that type. You'll only get yourself stuck in a role that will increasingly frustrate you, and eventually he'll see through the charade and be offended by your dishonesty.

Don't Trap Him

Even if you sense that he's got great potential early on, don't start talking about your future dreams of marriage and family right away. The most often overlooked dating advice for women is usually the most crucial – men take things slower. They don't want to be considered as a potential life partner after date number two. They'll feel trapped, and like all trapped animals, they will run or go on the defensive.

Accept Compliments

You'd be surprised how often men complain that women can't take a compliment properly. If he tells you that you look wonderful, a simple, "Thank you," is the right response. Don't cut yourself down or accuse him of, "Just saying that." You also shouldn't go into details about how you borrowed the dress from a friend because it was so expensive you'd never dream of buying it yourself, blah, blah, blah. If he says you look lovely in the dress, acknowledge the compliment and move on. He really doesn't want the details of how or why you look great – but he will appreciate being thanked for noticing that you do. Accepting a compliment means you are self-confident and comfortable with yourself.

Be on Time

This is great dating advice for women and men. Whether you're meeting a man someplace or he's picking you up, it's not polite or thoughtful to leave him cooling his heels – and no, and it doesn't build anticipation. It just makes you seem rude.

Express Your Opinions Honestly

Men quickly get bored with women who always agree with everything they say. Sure, it may be flattering to the ego for a bit, but that soon fades to boredom and/or irritation when they realize they can't sustain an intelligent conversation with you. It's also draining personally to keep up that kind of charade – what are you going to do a year from now? Stand firm on issues that are important to you, discuss events honestly but don't get into an argument just to prove you're right. Disagreeing on some things is what adds spice to a relationship – as long as the disagreements aren't moral or life-changing.

Don't be a Pest

It may sound like old-fashioned dating advice for women, but I believe it still holds true – men like to know they're interesting, but they don't want to be nagged into dating you. Can you call a man a few days after a date and thank him for a nice evening and chat? Sure! But don't call the next day, then the next, then the next. Leave one message – if he's interested, he'll call you back. It may take a few days (he could be busy, he could be nervous). If he isn't interested, increasingly desperate, repeated messages from you won't help your cause.

Be Positive

You are on a date, not at a therapy session. Spilling your guts about how much your mother drives you crazy and why you want to kill your boss will not endear you to a man who had hopes of enjoying a relaxing evening with you. Should you hope that a relationship includes friendship? Yes! But don't treat a man you've recently started dating like your old college roommate or priest. True confessions aren't good for the soul or the relationship too early on, and lots of complaining gives the impression you may never be happy with your life.

Dating advice for women could go on for pages, but the eight major rules above will cover almost every situation. Whether it's your first date or your tenth, it's all about being true to yourself, honest with him and kind to both of you.

Dating Tips for Single Moms

Although the Internet has lots of dating advice, dating tips for single moms sometimes don't make sense. It's a completely different world of dating when you're a parent with a child or children at home. It complicates things ten-fold, and emotions like guilt or confusion only add to the mix. After talking to lots of single mothers of children of all ages, I've put together these dating tips for single moms to help make the world of dating less confusing and more successful.

Ease Your Kids Into It

When you're ready to begin dating, ease into it with your kids. Don't suddenly make a bomb-shell announcement like, "Mommy's going to go on a date. This is really important." This will guarantee resentment. Simply mention that you are going out with a friend when you have a first date. After all, this is all it is at this point.

Enjoy Your Date

Once you've decided to go on a date with a man, commit yourself to focusing on it and enjoying it fully. That means not calling the baby sitter every half hour to check in. If you aren't ready to trust someone to watch the kids while you enjoy an evening out focused on enjoying yourself and getting to know someone, you shouldn't be dating yet. You'll also send huge signals to the man you're with that you aren't ready to start a relationship of any type.

Don't Look at Your Date as a Potential Parent – Yet

Here's a dating tip for single moms that also applies to single guys with kids: your first date should be about whether you like the person you're out with. Don't look at him like he's a potential new parent for your kids – it's way too early for that. It won't matter if you end up deciding he isn't right for you, and you don't want to put too much pressure on him all at once. You just might scare the right man away before he has the chance to prove himself this way.

Avoid Competition

Don't sacrifice traditional family activities for the sake of a date. If Sundays are always set aside for pancakes and bacon with your kids, don't start making Sunday plans with a man you're dating after just a few weeks – it sets an unhealthy precedent for a sense of competition between your children and your date.

Introducing Him to Your Kids

If you do establish a significant relationship, begin introducing him to your children little by little. Short, fun activities so that everyone can relax and enjoy getting to know one another are a good start. Neutral territory (a family restaurant or perhaps the zoo) is best at first. You can add including your new suitor in family activities after your children have grown comfortable with him.

Guys to Avoid

As your children get to know him, make sure that the man you're dating accepts your children just as they are. He shouldn't try to discipline or change them – that's not his job. If he becomes critical of your children or of your parenting style, it's time to end it.

Make the Rules Clear from the Start

Your children will always come first. It's one of the most important dating tips for single moms I know of. If the man you're dating doesn't understand this now, he won't later. Some men will commend you for this and agree whole-heartedly – these are the mature, loving ones. Other men will feel like this puts them in "second place," and they will probably never love your children like they should be loved because he will see them as competition for your time and affection.

Don't Lean on the Man You're Dating Too Soon

Any serious relationship is a big step, and you never want to confide everything or rely on the person you're dating too early on. This dating tip for single moms applies to any single (don't cry about ex's, your parents, etc. on the second date), but it is particularly true for singles moms who are dating. He may be perfectly wonderful, but even the strongest, most compassionate man will be frightened if you spend your third date discussing details of your child's adjustment problems in third grade or your concerns about whether your teenage daughter is drinking. These are serious matters, and should only be discussed once a serious relationship is established.

Let Your Dates be About You and Him

He may come to love your children completely, but the person he asked out was you. Remember to talk about things beyond parenting.

I hope you also remember to have a good time on your dates – remember, you're not only a mom, you're also a vibrant single woman! If you keep this in mind as well as the above dating tips for single moms, you'll have a wonderful time now and in the future – and you may find someone who is good for you and your children!